Let’s not argue in front of the child. Dur I have heard this from many parents. I used to think that way. Many parents may think that the discussion in front of the child will disrupt the child’s psychology and will be negatively affected by what the child hears and may feel guilty when such a situation occurs. It is also conceivable that the child can go and talk to friends, teachers or other family members that we do not want to hear. I want to reassure parents who think so. Because I learned that discussing in front of the child will not disturb the child’s psychology, and I really feel comfortable about it. You guys don’t be afraid. You can argue in front of the child. It is even necessary and useful to discuss in front of the child. But of course, how we manage the discussion, how we use each other in discussion, how our body language is, how much we can maintain the integrity of respect and love between the person we are discussing is very important. All these discussions will contribute to our child’s problem solving skills. Because he also learns from us how to express his feelings and how to cope with the problems. Therefore, our discussion is an opportunity for our children to observe how they can be discussed correctly and at the level and how problems can be solved. It is up to us to take advantage of this opportunity and make it useful or really harmful. In the discussions after children fall asleep or in the discussion when there is a child, to continue after the child sleep or in the discussions made by sending them to the children’s room, or in the discussions that the parents pass to their room, turn on the television or give the child something else to engage. Unfortunately, the child does not have any chance of observation. He can’t find it and he creates question marks in his head. What happened, why are they arguing? I like what I can do. Parents who eat each other arguing before the child sleeps may also act as if nothing had happened when he woke up in the morning. In such a case, the child will have observed how the discussion came out, but not how it ended. This part, which is ambiguous, tries to complete it on its own, but remains unfinished. Different interpretations or misunderstandings may also occur in the minds as they will be sketchy if you are in another room during the discussion. In order to prevent all of this, it would be useful for the parents to express the reason for the discussion between them, how they felt during the discussion, how they finally agreed and solved together. Let us not forget that problem-solving skills are not innate, they are acquired by learning and one of the places where children can learn these skills is the family environment. And children do our behaviors in which they take more models than we say.


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